Getting Through A Breakup …
Why do breakups hurt? Could it be from all the years you invested? The embarrassment from what others may think? The embarrassment from that relationship failing? The embarrassment of thinking at a certain age you would be married, but now you have to start completely over? The embarrassment of not living up to society standards? I believe it can also be the fear of the unknown. Who am I going to end up with? What job will I get next? Who’s going to replace that friendship that I thought would last forever? So, when I talk about a breakup, it could be more than that relationship you had with your significant other. A breakup can occur with your family, a coworker, your career, or a good friend as well.
Believe it or not, there were people who were praying silently for that breakup to occur. There are going to be people who will hate, talk about you, and even try to make you feel lesser than. DONT FALL FOR IT! Just remember you are where you are for a reason. Just take in everything you have learned from that relationship. When we are hurt, it is so easy for us to place the blame on the other person or the situation; so, take accountability for the part you played in that breakup as well, because NO ONE IS PERFECT! Breakups are also a time for you to learn about what you will and will NOT accept in your next relationship.
During your time of healing, try not to worry about how society may view you, just focus on getting better. Remember there is always someone watching you. Sarah Jakes-Roberts stated, “If you don’t come out of your grief, then someone else may think grief is the end. if you don’t come out of your pain, than someone may think that pain is the end.” I am not writing that to put pressure on you, but I am encouraging you to see that the breakup was/is not the end for you, but only the beginning. Who knows, maybe that breakup was needed for the possibility of reconnection in the right time, orrrrr maybe that relationship was only meant to last a season. Regardless of the possibilities of the outcome, it is important to get through that breakup.
After a breakup, there are several stages you will go through. According to MindShiftWellnessCenter.com, there are seven emotional stages of grief: shock or disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and lastly acceptance/hope. Please note that everyone may go through the stages differently; you may start off with anger before you get to the shock/disbelief stage; the stages after a break up can happen in any order. The main goal is to get to the acceptance/hope stage. That’s why it is very important to have coping skills and positive people in your life during the road to recovery. What are coping skills you may ask? Coping skills are strategies to reduce those unpleasant emotions/feelings. This is a perfect time to re-learn yourself, and to find out things you enjoy. Coping skills can be as simple as exercising, watching inspirational videos, or even journaling. During the healing phase, it is not about everyone else ! PLEASE remember other people’s opinions, does not change the narrative of your life. Be encourage !! IF you are currently going through a breakup, I hope you find peace during your road to recovery!
PS: YOU GOT THIS (:
